Boost your “connect-ability” with others by being synchronized, or “in sync.” This is the ability to tune in to others, to create a rhythm of similar movements and behavioral cues that orchestrate a wonderful harmony.
Being in sync means having rapport; it means playing up your similarities to establish a stronger connection, to create that “You, too!” experience.
It means reducing the distance or differences between us. Often subconsciously, we synchronize ourselves to those around us, picking up subtle signals and modulating our behavior in response.
When we’re in sync, an invisible energy serves as a connecting current between us. Connection is easier, almost effortless, as we sense that others understand us and our needs.
That’s because when people reflect our own behaviors, they’re mirroring a very familiar image back to us.
People like people who reflect their own image. When we’re with people who mirror our own (or similar) qualities, we’re smack in the middle of our Comfort Zone and it feels divine, nothing scratchy or irritating rubbing us the wrong way, frustrating us, or getting under our skin.
It seems as though we can more easily understand and relate to each other’s needs. Being out of sync means being out of step, out of tune, and not on the same wavelength. We’re out of our Comfort Zone; making connections is challenging as we struggle to find common ground. Our familiar ways simply don’t work the same.
We’re not as prone to like or trust those with whom we have difficulty establishing rapport, which can mean lost opportunities on both sides of the chasm.
One key to revving up rapport and increasing our harmony with others is learning to reflect their behavior back to them. This means using simple and effective connecting devices that plug us in to the same wavelength and speed up our “connect-ability.”
The result can definitely create electric connections that offer high-voltage opportunities! The technique of reflecting a person’s body language is called matching and mirroring. It is done by selectively
mirroring body movements,posture, tone of voice, and rate of speech.
The object is not to parrot someone’s behavior, but to convey congruence by subtly giving them a glimpse of their own behavior. When you match their behavior naturally and respectfully, you’re telling them (on a subconscious level) that you’re “with them.”
To reflect someone’s body language, synchronize your movements at a comfortable tempo without being obvious. Focus on their facial expressions and reflect them back. If they smile, you beam back; if they look worried, indicate your concern. Match their stance, use similar gestures, tilt and nod your head, breathe at the same rate, and adjust the tone, tempo, and volume of your voice to match theirs.
Body movements can be easily synchronized without others being conscious of your mirroring them by design. Remember, the keyword for effective use of this technique is “subtle.”
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